“When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.”

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain”

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”

“To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often”

“It is easier to stay out than get out.”

“The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become”

“When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn”

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.”

“All generalizations are false, including this one.”

“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation”

“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”

“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop”

“I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one”