Funny Grandmother Quotes

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.

Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.

I would love to go back and travel the road not taken, if I knew at the end of it I'd find the same set of grandkids.

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have - if only for self-defense.

The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren.

To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word "boo."

To become a grandparent is to enjoy one of the few pleasures in life for which the consequences have already been paid.

Grandchildren don't stay young forever, which is good because Pop-pops have only so many horsey rides in them.

You don't have to be in "Who's Who" to know what's what.

Grandparents are there to help the child get into mischief they haven't thought of yet.

Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me.

We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me.

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children.

Posterity is the patriotic name for grandchildren.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.

Grandchildren are the dots that connect the lines from generation to generation.

Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in order to be a full human being.

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.

I don't intentionally spoil my grandkids. It's just that correcting them often takes more energy than I have left.

Varicose veins are the result of an improper selection of grandparents.

You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying, "Smile, Grandma!" - I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother's lap.

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I'd have had them first.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

On the seventh day God rested. His grandchildren must have been out of town.

My grandkids believe I'm the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.

The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.

My grandchild has taught me what true love means. It means watching Scooby-Doo cartoons while the basketball game is on another channel.

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars' worth of pleasure.

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.

A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma.

Uncles and aunts, and cousins, are all very well, and fathers and mothers are not to be despised; but a grandmother, at holiday time, is worth them all.

I am not ashamed of my grandparents for having been slaves. I am only ashamed of myself for having at one time being ashamed.

I loved their home. Everything smelled older, worn but safe; the food aroma had baked itself into the furniture.

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother.

Two things I dislike about my granddaughter - when she won't take her afternoon nap, and when she won't let me take mine.

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it!

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies.