Funny Happy Thanksgiving Quotes

You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.

God is glorified, not by our groans, but by our thanksgivings.

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

I give thanks to my Creator for this wonderful life where each of us has the opportunity to learn lessons we could not fully comprehend by any other means.

Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with gourmet status.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.

How wonderful it would be if we could help our children and grandchildren to learn thanksgiving at an early age. Thanksgiving opens the doors. It changes a child's personality. A child is resentful, negative, or thankful. Thankful children want to give, they radiate happiness, they draw people.

If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed - like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese.

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.

Best of all is it to preserve everything in a pure, still heart, and let there be for every pulse a thanksgiving, and for every breath a song.

I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.

Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, 'How long has Mom been drinking like this?' My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, 'Here, kitty, kitty.'

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Some one needs to tell the turkey, 'man, just be yourself.'

Only a stomach that rarely feels hungry scorns common things.

If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.

It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general.

We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.

Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings.

Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” —

Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

He who thanks but with the lips. Thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving. Comes from the heart.

When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.

Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.

For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends.

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.

The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more.

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

We can always find something to be thankful for, and there may be reasons why we ought to be thankful for even those dispensations which appear dark and frowning.

The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

Gratitude can turn a meal into a feast.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.