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— Anthony Head"Ctors are always trying to cry and people are actually trying not to cry."
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If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?
— Jim Gaffigan
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There’s a whole list of things I would probably change about myself. For example, I’m always trying to lose fifteen pounds. But I never need to be skinny. I don’t want to be skinny. I’m constantly in a state of self-improvement but I don’t beat myself up over it.
— Mindy Kaling
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