"I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are."

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Here's what happens in a play. You get involved in a situation where something is unbalanced. If nothing's unbalanced, there's no reason to have a play. If Hamlet comes home from school, and his dad's not dead and asks him if he's had a good time, it's boring. But if something's unbalanced, it must be returned to order.

— David Mamet