"But in truth, should I meet with gold or spices in great quantity, I shall remain till I collect as much as possible, and for this purpose I am proceeding solely in quest of them."

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I have to tell you, Arty, a screw up this early in the proceedings doesn't exactly fill me with confidence. I hope you're as clever as you keep telling everyone you are." "I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

— Eoin Colfer