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— David Letterman"I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from.""
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Speaking from my own religious tradition in this Christmas season, 2,000 years ago a homeless woman gave birth to a homeless child in a manger because the inn was full.
— Al Gore
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There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?
— Conan O'Brien
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