"The interesting thing is that it seems like George W. Bush would have been happy being the president of anything. He could have been president of Major League Baseball."

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As a teacher of fourth-graders in a public school, where corporal punishement was not allowed, she had years of violence stored up and was, truth be told, sort of enjoying letting it out on Kona, who she felt could have been the poster child for the failure of public education.

— Christopher Moore