"Usually, I wear tennis shoes because my feet are flat, and it hurts to wear anything other than shoes that are cushiony."

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I remember my first standup act when I was seventeen; I did a really lame song about being flat chested. I was doing it in New York, and I remember Kevin Brennan, the guy I lost my virginity to, was like "That song doesn't make sense, you have tits."

— Sarah Silverman