"The bands I like, they don't sell too many records and the girls I like, they don't kiss too many boys. Books I read will never be bestsellers yeah but come on fellas at least we made our choice."

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For some unexplained reason, it's always the other end of the table that's wild and raucous, with screaming laughter and a fella who plays 'Holiday for Strings' on water glasses.

— Erma Bombeck