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— Greg Giraldo"People always want to compare their dogs to having kids. That's insulting. First of all, nobody has a dog because they were too drunk to pull out."
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The photographer will never replace the painter; one is a man, the other a machine. Let us compare them no longer. (1848)
— Alphonse de Lamartine
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When you compare Christmas to Hanukkah, there's no comparison. Christmas is great. Hanukkah sucks! First night you get socks. Second night, an eraser, a notebook. It's a Back-to-School holiday!
— Lewis Black
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