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— Groucho Marx"He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days."
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Drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things . . . nose-painting, sleep, and urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
— William Shakespeare
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I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful; contained so much alcohol they could use it to sterilize their instruments.
— W. C. Fields
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