"Reading makes immigrants of us all. It takes us away from home, but more important, it finds homes for us everywhere."

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I'm getting fed up of living away from home so much. They look after you very well but it doesn't matter how well you're looked after, how nice the hotel is, if you're away from home constantly, the bloody dog savages you, thinks you're a stranger, the kid cries and the wife's stuck to your face!

— David Jason