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— Jay Leno"In the NFL, 31 players have been arrested just since the Super Bowl. In fact, a lot of teams are switching to the no-huddle offense because players aren't allowed to associate with known felons."
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A priest in New York City was arrested on gun possession. These days, you better be happy that the bulge in his pocket is a .38.
— David Letterman
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An 83-year-old male prostitute was arrested. Police say he only charged $20 an hour, but for most of that time, he just talked about his grandkids.
— Craig Ferguson
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