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— Jeff Foxworthy"You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes."
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Whether it is an attempt to bomb the New York City subway system, an attempt to bring down an airplane over Detroit, an attempt to set off a bomb in Times Square ... I think that gives us a sense of the breadth of the challenges that we face, and the kinds of things that our enemy is trying to do.
— Eric Holder
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As soon as I jumped out of the airplane, I realized I had forgotten my parachute. Thank God we were still on the runway.
— Demetri Martin
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