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I'm sitting, waiting to get on the freeway, and I'm waiting my ass off. I look over at the side of the road, and there's a hitchhiker with a sign and it says, 'Pick me up, and you can drive in the carpool lane.' I got to tell you, he was kind of smelly, but he was a good conversationalist.
— Doug Benson
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You could take Vicodin, step out of the house, onto a freeway, have a truck hit you, and you'd say "My Bad!".
— Bill Engvall
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