"In my own case I have frequently faced the pitcher when I had no desire whatever to hit. I wanted to get a base on balls."

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It needs to be said that sometimes my mom forgets important details when she talks. Like the time she told us she was considering leather (couches, it turns out), or when I was little and she said, "Here's a napkin to put your balls in" (the Atomic Fireballs that I was eating, she meant).

— Bill Konigsberg