"Men don't like me. I haven't been on a date for six months. I've just started a club with a girlfriend called the We Hate Men But We Can't Be Gay Club."

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I think I'm a realist. Which people who don't like me consider to be pessimism. It isn't pessimism at all. If I was a pessimist I wouldn't get up, I wouldn't shave, I wouldn't watch Batman at 7:30 a.m. Pessimists just don't do that sort of thing.

— Steven Morrissey