"I do not say I was ever what I would call "plain," but I have the sort of face that bores me when I see it on other people."

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Sometimes when my fans come up to me, they think it's going to be entertaining, like I'm going to tell jokes or do bits, and then instead of that I end up talking about really mundane things with my fans, and then they're kind of like, "This is boring. I want to go talk to somebody else." I think I bore my fans to death by over-talking to them.

— Mike Birbiglia