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Wouldn't it be great if all of Osama bin Laden's money was tied up in Enron stock?
— Dennis Miller
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Osama bin Laden has hired 10 look-alikes. Now, how hard up do you have to be before you take that job? There's no way to win! If Osama dies, you don't get paid. If you're found, you get killed.
— Jay Leno
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