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— Mitch Hedberg"If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!""
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I just think everyone knows you go on those [political satire] shows if you're a politician to, "humanize yourself" - to show, "Hey, I can take a joke." Well, why should satire be in the service of humanizing these people who are supposed to be the target of our venom and vitriol? I think that's unseemly.
— Harry Shearer
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I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!"
— Mitch Hedberg
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