"More good has been accomplished by simple people seeking their own honest ends than by all the philanthropists in history."

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Whenever I have a birthday, I think back over the past year, how I've spent my time, what I've accomplished, what regrets I have, how I've tried to make the world a better place, and what exactly I've been doing with my life over the past 365 days, and I think to myself: 'Man, I wish I'd gotten laid more'.

— Richard M. Weiner