"Sports is so hard for me to wrap my head around. I never played any sports, I don't watch any sports, I hardly know the rules to any sporting event. Really, I'm borderline mentally damaged when it comes to sports."

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Lula's borderline too much of a good thing in lots of ways. It isn't exactly that Lula is fat; it's more that she's too short for her weight and her clothes are too small for the volume of flesh she carries.

— Janet Evanovich