Stephen Colbert Quotes | If I had one wish, it would be for self-dryin...

"If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!"

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Yes,' he said sincerely. 'Such a one deserves peanut butter on the seat of his pants.

— Patricia Briggs

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If someone's lying, are their pants really on fire

— Jerry Seinfeld

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