Air Travel Quotes

Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.

The European Union spends most of its time either suing me, torturing me, criticizing me or condemning me for lowering the cost of air travel all over Europe.

We've only had aircrafts for a hundred years, and yet look at us. So, I've become absolutely fascinated by this strange, bizarre world of airports, air travel and transportation. It's interesting.

The whole infrastructure of air travel was, and is, part of government policy. It is not a natural development of a free economic system - at least not in the way that is claimed. The same is true of the roads, of course.

Travel in car, because you can stop. Air travel any more is a nightmare. I think it's the same for everyone. If I have a choice to stand in line to get x-rayed, or see scenery, I'll take scenery.

In a nut shell, air travel is the worst part about touring.

Air travel is the safest form of travel aside from walking; even then, the chances of being hit by a public bus at 30,000 feet are remarkably slim. I also have no problem with confined spaces. Or heights. What I am afraid of is speed.

There are few places you can find silence. Air travel could be the last fortress of solitude.

I do remember that when we left [Bernard Leach] after two and a half years, we went home on a boat again - this was before air travel became really easy - and Alix [MacKenzie] turned to me and she said, "You know, that was a great two years of training, but that's not the way we're going to run our pottery."

When the plane is delayed, it's not the fault of the girl at the desk. I'm resigned to the fact that everything is out of my control and that air travel nowadays is barbaric.

Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full."

We all know we have a problem, a broad problem. Ninety-eight percent of the fuel that is used by our vehicles, our autos and trucks for personal and commercial purposes, for highway and air travel operates on oil. The world has the same problem.

Air travel reminds us who we are. It's the means by which we recognize ourselves as modern. The process removes us from the world and sets us apart from each other. We wander in the ambient noise, checking one more time for the flight coupon, the boarding pass, the visa. The process convinces us that at any moment we may have to submit to the force that is implied in all this, the unknown authority behind it, behind the categories, the languages we don't understand. This vast terminal has been erected to examine souls.

My Christmas present to myself each year is to see how much air travel can open up the world and take me to places as far from sheltered California and Japan as possible.

The captain has just turned on the fasten-seat-belt-sign. He didn't mean to, but the joint he was smoking fell in his lap, and when he jumped up, his head hit the switch.

During the past few decades, modern technology, with radio, TV, air travel, and satellites, has woven a network of communication which puts each part of the world in to almost instant contact with all the other parts.

Now you can't even carry a nail clipper on a plane. Are they afraid you're going to go..."All right! Give me the plane or the b*tch loses her cuticle." ?

If the Wright brother were alive today Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs.

Every time we hit an air pocket and the plane dropped about five hundred feet (leaving my stomach in my mouth) I vowed to give up sex, bacon, and air travel if I ever made it back to terra firma in one piece.

Modern air travel means less time spent in transit. That time is now spent in transit lounges.

Air travel efficiency would improve if more travelers started going to less popular places.

Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.

There are no distant places any longer: the world is small and the world is one.

I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.

We travel together, passengers on a little spaceship, dependent on its vulnerable reserves of air and soil, all committed, for our safety, to its security and peace. Preserved from annihilation only by the care, the work and the love we give our fragile craft.

A world with a sudden limit on air travel would be tremendously different from the one we live in now.

If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.

This book is dedicated to Wilbur and Orville Wright, without whom air sickness would still be just a dream.

Air travel survived decades of terrorism, including attacks which resulted in the deaths of everyone on the plane. It survived 9/11. It'll survive the next successful attack. The only real worry is that we'll scare ourselves into making air travel so onerous that we won't fly anymore.

Airline food is not intended for human consumption. It's intended as a form of in-flight entertainment, wherein the object is to guess what it is, starting with broad categories such as "mineral" and "linoleum."

Each and every one of the security measures we implement serves an important goal: providing safe and efficient air travel for the millions of people who rely on our aviation system every day.

People aren't just paying more to fill their gas tanks or when they pay for their heating bills for their home; they are paying more at the grocery store, on air travel and for many other daily expenses.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

To me, an airplane is a great place to diet.

The modern airplane creates a new geographical dimension. A navigable ocean of air blankets the whole surface of the globe. There are no distant places any longer: the world is small and the world is one.

They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport.

A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas today, because of equipment problems at O'Hare, you can't get there at all.

I don't mind flying. I always pass out before the plane leaves the ground.

I had arrived at the airport one hour early so that, in accordance with airline procedures, I could stand around.

Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.

With air travel there is no distance, there is only time.

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.

A shortage of airports runways and gates along outmoded air traffic control systems have made U.S. air travel the most congested in the world.

The thing I miss about Air Force One is they don't lose my luggage.

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.

Travel makes one modest. You see what a tiny place you occupy in the world.

People just hate the idea of losing. Any loss, even a small one, is just so terrible to contemplate that they compensate by buying insurance, including totally absurd policies like air travel.