Funny Drug Quotes

I say no to drugs, but they don't listen.

Nobody stopped thinking about those psychedelic experiences. Once you've been to some of those places, you think, 'How can I get back there again but make it a little easier on myself?'

LSD is a psychedelic drug which occasionally causes psychotic behavior in people who have NOT taken it.

I don't know. I never smoked AstroTurf.

Why is there such controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who'd be willing to test any drug they can come up with.

Avoid all needle drugs, the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.

Cocaine is like really evil coffee.

I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells.

A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.

Raising a child is like taking care of someone who's on way too many shrooms, while you yourself are on a moderate amount of shrooms. I am not confident in my decisions, but I know you should not be eating a mousepad.

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If He put it here and He wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?

Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton.

The best pitch I ever heard about cocaine was back in the early eighties when a street dealer followed me down the sidewalk going: I got some great blow man. I got the stuff that killed Belushi.

I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

I have nothing to declare but my genius, and this four-kilo bag of cocaine.

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.

Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself

The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing. I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago. All through the sixties I tested everything.

I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills.

I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.

I feel sorry for people who do not have a Bible to lean on.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.

Marijuana is a useful catalyst for specific optical and aural aesthetic perceptions. I apprehended the structure of certain pieces of jazz and classical music in a new manner under the influence of marijuana, and these apprehensions have remained valid in years of normal consciousness.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.

I don't do drugs. I am drugs.

Addiction should never be treated as a crime. It has to be treated as a health problem. We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country. Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users.

A miracle drug is any drug that will do what the label says it will do.

I don't like people who take drugs... Customs men for example.

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you are making too much money.

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

All drugs of any interest to any moderately intelligent person in America are now illegal.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Whether you sniff it smoke it eat it or shove it up your ass the result is the same: addiction.

Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.

I tried marijuana once. I did not inhale.

I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

In the Sixties people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, people take Prozac to make it normal.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast