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Sex, unlike justice, should not be seen to be done.
Sep 25, 2025
The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
A man is only as good as what he loves.
Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all.
I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore!
It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.
Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.
Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more.
Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
The bravest thing that men do is love women.
I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?
Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.
The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'
My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.
The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.
Women are cursed, and men are the proof.
Love and a cough cannot be hid.
Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
Some emotions don't make a lot of noise. It's hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint - like a heartbeat. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there.
A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.
Like I've always said, love wouldn't be blind if the braille weren't so damned much fun.
I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day.
I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.
This is love: to fly toward a secret sky
Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
Love is a game that two can play and both win.
My heart to you is given: Oh, do give yours to me; We'll lock them up together, And throw away the key.
Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.
Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter.
When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.
The art of love is largely the art of persistence.
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.
The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.
True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
'Twas not my lips you kissed but my soul.
If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.
Better to have loved and lost than to live with regret.
You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!
I wish Adam had died with all his ribs in his body.
You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.