Mother In Law Quotes

I love my mother-in-law and I think I'm a really good one, too.

My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

I have a great relationship with my mother-in-law. We're both Leos, we understand each other.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

I suppose, mother-in-laws are frightening figures. Especially, more so for mother-in-laws to be.

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

If you have a mother-in-law with only one eye and she has it in the center of her forehead, don't keep her in the living room.

a mother-in-law's praise says more in a woman's favor than anything else in the world.

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat - because she is of reasonable size, and I care about her and her self-image.

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

Once when my father-in-law was leaving the house after lunch to return to the field to work, my mother-in-law said, 'Albert, you get right back in here and tell me you love me.' He grinned and jokingly said, 'Elsie, when we were married, I told you I loved you, and if that ever changes, I'll let you know.' It's hard to overuse the expression, 'I love you.' Use it daily.

I don't think you have to live in the fantasy world of Westeros to have problems with your mother-in-law.

Pakistan is the sort of place every man should send his mother-in-law, for a month, with all expenses paid.

My mother-in-law had to stop skipping for exercise. It registered seven on the Richter scale.

Just because you're unemployed doesn't mean you're not doing anything useful. You are, for example, at least keeping your mother-in-law's wit sharp.

To have one's mother-in-law in the country when one lives in Paris, and vice versa, is one of those strokes of luck that one encounters only too rarely.

A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome.

We never make sport of religion, politics, race or mothers. A mother never gets hit with a custard pie. Mothers-in-law-yes. But mothers-never.

Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.

Is anyone saying same-sex couples can't love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?

Interfering, judgmental, and disrespectful mothers-in-law are common complaints.

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.

My mother-in-law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we're having a change. We're going to let her in.

I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussaud's Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said: 'Keep her moving sir; we're stock-taking.'

I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

My mother-in-law was with me during all four of my births and when she was sitting next to me holding my hand during the cesareans, well, I craved that.

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.

... the most fiendish plant I know of, the sort of thing Beelzebub might pluck to make a bouquet for his mother-in-law ... it looks as if it had been made out of a sow's ear for the spathe, and the tail of a rat that died of Elephantiasis for the spadix. The whole thing is mingling of unwholesome greens, livid purples, and pallid pinks, the livery of putrescence in fact, and it possesses and odour to match the colouring.

My mother-in-law was so mean she blinded herself just to get a free dog.

They (mothers-in-law) never leave when they say they will. When my mother-in-law visits, the mice throw themselves at the cat, begging to be eaten.

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

Barack Obama's mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with him. Joe Biden was right. Hostile forces will test him in the first few months.

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

I don't think I'd like Manhattan anymore. My mother-in-law lives there, and you go there. But I like looking at it from a distance. It's a fantastic sight - every time, it awes me.

If there's an award for best mother-in-law in the universe, in the future, when my son gets married, I will win that award.

The difference between America and England is that the English think 100 miles is a long distance and the Americans think 100 years is a long time. The difference between an autobiography and an unauthorized biography is like the difference between an account of your life written by your mother and one written by your mother-in-law.

Then, there's the modern mother-in-law. In her mid 40s, she is the compact car of her breed: efficient, trim, attractive and in harmony with her times. She's pretty stiff competition for the plain young matron who's overweight and under-financed. If there is going to be friction in this relationship, it could start from envy and resentment in the younger woman. But Father Time is on her side, even if Mother Nature played her a dirty trick

As one whose husband and mother-in-law have died the victims of murder and assassination, I stand firmly and unequivocally opposed to the death penalty for those convicted of capital offenses. An evil deed is not redeemed by an evil deed of retaliation. Justice is never advanced in the taking of a human life. Morality is never upheld by a legalized murder.

A lot of women have trouble with their mothers-in-law.” Raphael’s look was priceless. “My mother is an insane archangel.

I went from resenting my mother-in-law to accepting her, finally to appreciating her. What appeared to be her diffidence when I was first married, I now value as serenity.

The awe and dread with which the untutored savage contemplates his mother-in-law are amongst the most familiar facts of anthropology.

They say the definition of ambivalence is watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new Cadillac.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.

The best compliment that has ever been given to me was, I was at the airport one day and a guy came in and said, 'Lionel, my wife loves you, the kids love you, my mother-in-law loves you, the family loves you.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

There is scarcely room for doubt that something in the psychological relation of a mother-in-law to a son-in-law breeds hostility between them and makes it hard for them to live together. But the fact that in civilized societies mothers-in-law are such a favourite subject for jokes seems to me to suggest that the emotional relation involved includes sharply contrasted components. I believe, that is, that this relation is in fact an 'ambivalent' one, composed of conflicting affectionate and hostile impulses.

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

I'm often accused of saying some pretty rotten things about my mother-in-law. But quite honestly, she's only got one major fault - it's called breathing.