Viagra Quotes

I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.

I think religion for many people is some sort of moral viagra.

I love Viagra. I don't need it, but I tried it. It's a great legal drug.

Variety is not everything! Viagra is!

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

There's no magazine you open, unless its AARP, that shows a woman over the age of 45 in any other light, other than having to buy Depends or Viagra.

I am not overlooking any mail. I'm looking at all of it. I even wrote back to the Viagra people.

You get my point now? Coz before I thought you missed it. I'ma viagra triple shot, you just a limp bizkit. WORD LIFE.

Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?

I haven't left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we're screwed!

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.

Measuring national prestige by gold medals is like using Viagra to judge the potency of a man.

There's no such thing as free love. Have you seen the price of Viagra?

Using Viagra is like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.

I'm human viagra. I'm Willagra. I'm a sex machine now. I'm raring to go every second of the day. My wife's loving it.

Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has released all of his emails. I'd like to release all of my emails. I've got nothing but emails about low-cost funerals and Viagra.

This Hillary Clinton scandal has to do with emails. All I get are emails for Canadian Viagra.

Young kids are taking Viagra, ecstasy. They even want instant sex.

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice. I don't know if I'm coming or going.

To me, Viagra is the same as Disneyland. You wait an hour for a two-minute ride.

Disgusting. I just found my grandpa's Viagra. I swear, I almost puked from eating so many.

The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of his missiles seem to launch.

Democracy in China is like Viagra; no such thing as free elections.

I think that in our society we should do everything to encourage child-bearing and family-making. And I think that if insurance will cover Viagra for men, it should also be covering these kinds of methods to try to build families.

There's always something new with sex. We lived in a world without Viagra, now we live in a world with Viagra. We lived in a world without blowjobs and anilingus in the Oval Office, and then it happens and you get to write about it. We live in a world where now the government is screwing with contraception and holding back vaccines that could save 4,000 women's lives a year, and you get to write about that. It's not as much fun as anilingus in the Oval Office, but what are you going to do? If you pay attention, there's always something new, and it's always really invigorating.

We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra...

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own.

If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers.

Sex can be great in your seventies - no Viagra needed - and it certainly beats fish and chips.

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It's been along for years... it's called cash.

You suffer when you give birth, it doesn't matter, it's nature. They tell you, oh, those hormone pills, they're terrible, you'll get cancer. But when it comes to Viagra for men, they don't speak about cancer.

A man goes into Boots and says: "Have you got any Viagra?" "Do you have a prescription?" asks the chemist. "No," he replies, "But 'I've got a photograph of the wife."

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it.

And if the problem [with contraception] is promiscuity, then why does the immense popularity of Viagra go unchecked? Doesn't it make more sense to leave the bullets out of the gun than to try to avoid being shot? Especially when the gun is an old musket, and you have to clean it out and tamp down gunpowder, melt down scraps of lead and pour it into a mold, wait for it to cool - only to have it take forever to finally go off?

The Internet is the Viagra of big business.

Sex and commerce are fine things, but man cannot live by Viagra and the Dow Jones alone. A life led collecting things and experiences in pursuit of happiness is not necessarily a bad life, but it's not a good life either. Too often, the Democrats act like the Party of Lust, and the Republicans the Party of Greed. Both are deadly sins that eat at the soul.

If a chemical drug like Viagra is accepted by society and by the world to ignite desire, then what is the problem with my audio-visual drug called cinema which ignites desire? Both are basically doing the same thing!

Taking Viagra after open heart surgery is like a Civil War re-enactment with live ammo. Not good.

In a nation committed to better living through chemistry - where Viagra-enabled men pursue silicone-contoured women - the national pastime has a problem of illicit chemical enhancement. Steroids threaten the health of the 5 percent to 7 percent of players proved, by a mild regime of scheduled tests, to be using them. Steroids also endanger emulative young people. Further, steroids subvert what baseball is selling - fair competition. And they strike at the pleasure of engagement with America's team sport with the longest history.

Viagra is a drug, just like cocaine. It can cause you to become addicted.

Yes, but I’ve already made my fortune in other things. (Solin) Such as? (Geary) Viagra. My brother learned to take a personal problem and profit by it. (Arik) It’s true. It pained me to see a man as young as Arik stricken with impotency. Therefore I had to do something to help the poor soul. But alas, there’s nothing to be done for it. He’s as flaccid as a wet noodle. (Solin) How creative of you to project your problem onto me. But then, they say celibacy is enough to make a man lose all reason. Guess you’re living proof, huh? (Arik)

If the principal smokers of cocaine were affluent older white men and the principal consumers of Viagra were poor young black men, then...selling Viagra would get you five to 10 years behind bars.

Back then, the entire Internet consisted of two slow, boxcar-sized UNIVAC computers about 50 feet apart, connected by a wire. It would take one of these computers an entire day to send an email to the other one, which would immediately delete it, because it was a Viagra ad.

..Because when medical marijuana is fully accepted for what it is, we will see a phenomenon that makes Viagra's phenomenon seem limp.

Abracadabra, I'm up like Viagra.