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America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.
Oct 2, 2025
How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we'd profit from them.
My husband taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
A 99-year-old man is filing for divorce from his 96-year-old wife, making them the world's oldest divorced couple. It's got to be weird when a divorce lawyer is fighting for your kids to get custody of you.
Divorce is simply modern society's version of medieval torture. Except it lasts longer and leaves deeper scars. A divorce releases the most primitive emotions; the ugliest, raw feelings. Emotionally wounded people do their best to inflict pain upon the other party, but rather than using claws they use divorce lawyers.
Did you hear about the woman who sent out 40,000 Valentine Cards doused in perfume and signed, "Guess Who?" She's a divorce lawyer.
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping.
A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.
In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity.
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Divorce lawyers stoke anger and fear in their clients, knowing that as long as the conflicts remain unresolved the revenue stream will keep flowing.
The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.
In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.
A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.
I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.
A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
When people divorce, it's always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.
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