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Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
Sep 24, 2025
The parents exist to teach the child, but also they must learn what the child has to teach them; and the child has a very great deal to teach them
There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have charge of children, but there can be no doubt that parents are the worst.
My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.
I think once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer.
Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children.
Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child.
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's.
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
The beauty of 'spacing' children many years apart lies in the fact that parents have time to learn the mistakes that were made with the older ones - which permits them to make exactly the opposite mistakes with the younger ones.
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
You will always be your child's favorite toy.
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. Your children need your presence more than your presents.
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too.
Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage.
I don't remember who said this, but there really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child.
Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them.
Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.
Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age.
If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent.
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be.
There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'.
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it.
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.