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When you make a mistake, the ocean gives you an instant reminder. You get punished. If golf clubs could shock you every time you hit the ball wrong, we'd probably learn how to play golf pretty well.
Sep 30, 2025
Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.
Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law.
There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.
The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know any more about the game than the old ones did.
Golf is a better game played downhill.
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.
There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
I did 'Formula 51' because I got to run around Liverpool in a kilt, with golf clubs.
A perfectly straight shot with a big club is a fluke.
When I play my best golf, I feel as if I'm in a fog, standing back watching the earth in orbit with a golf club in my hands.
A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.
Most people play a fair game of golf - if you watch them.
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course... the space between your ears.
Well my dad was a pretty good player at one stage and my two older brothers played golf as well. So there were always golf clubs flying around the house.
The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.
Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.
Now we know everything about golf equipment. A player doesn't have to know diddly about golf clubs, because we know what a golf club can do and how it can fit to you. I hate to harp on my era because people don't like that, but 30 years back was so different. I didn't have maxed-out clubs. The clubs now are amazing.
If I swung the gavel the way I swung that golf club, the nation would be in a helluva mess.
I was playing cowboys and Indians in the trees, and then I started hitting the golf club with clubs father sawed off for me, and I began playing right here with my father.
We were all born with webbed feet and a golf club in our hand.
If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.
If he's got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don't hire him.
You don't know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.
Jimmy Fallon and I play regularly at the Bayonne Golf Club in Jersey. He's eighteen holes of fun. Any time we play he has moments of brilliance, but also moments of utter catastrophe.
I'm a big believer in the Wii. I love the physicality of the Wii controller, and how you can get the feeling of throwing a bowling ball or swinging a golf club. Those are the kinds of games I really like.
The older I get, the better I was.
This was something you had to work through on you own," Jason said. "Besides, I knew you'd do the right thing." "Oh, right," I said. I wanted to throw something at him. I really did. "And if I hadn't?" Now Jason brandished something he'd been holding behind his back. It was a golf club. "I figured Big Bertha here would drive them away," he said.
I thought the other ones were so obviously - what are we going to do if she burns down the house? The DEA, which I think was maybe the best one because she's wearing the jacket when she goes through the mirror and I think that was kind of amazing because you really weren't expecting that. There's something almost slapstick about this in a way that worried me. It was a little pratfalley with the golf club and the - but I think it probably cut together okay.
Cape Town's beaches are superb and while the water on the Atlantic side is damn cold, it's very pleasant on the other side. Bring your golf clubs if you play - Cape Town has some fabulous golf courses.
How do you combat a man with a firearm? You don't combat him with a golf club, baseball bat or a knife. You combat him with another firearm.
The truth is, the first golf club I owned was an old left-handed, wooden-shafted, rib-faced mashie that a fellow gave me, and that's the club I was weaned on. During the mornings we caddies would bang the ball up and down the practice field until the members arrived and it was time to go to work. So I did all that formative practice left-handed. But I'm a natural right-hander.
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.
"Hit it with the back of your left hand" was the first swing thought I ever heard, brusquely bu not unlovingly put to me by the aunt-in-law who had moments before placed a golf club in my virgin grip. I was twenty-five, and had spent my youth in a cloisterd precinct of teh middle class where golf was a rumoured something, like champagne breakfasts and divorce, that the rich did.
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
The emblem on the necktie reserved for the members of the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St. Andrews - The Vatican of golf - is of St. Andrew himself bearing the slatier cross on which, once he was captured at Patras, he was to be stretched before he was crucified.Only the Scots would have thought of celebrating a national game with the figure of a tortured saint.
If one defines the term 'dropout' to mean a person who has given up serious effort to meet his responsibilities, then every business office, government agency, golf club and university faculty would yield its quota.
The older I get, the better I used to be.
There's no question that O.J. Simpson had been a substitute white man in America. He had gained honorary white status. He was not viewed by many white Americans as black. He was not seen as the African American athlete who was rebellious: Jim Brown, Muhammad Ali, Hank Aaron... He was accepted in golf clubs that were very tony.