Great Alcohol Quotes

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler; I don't like beer.

No nation is drunken where wine is cheap.

I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety.

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn't afterward.

An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.

No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.

I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.

I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate...and I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.

I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

It's like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don't know where your going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It's like the throw of the dice.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.

I drink to make other people interesting.

When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.

Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.

O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains!" - Cassio (Act II, Scene iii)

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover.

I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.

Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer.

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

If you don't know where you're going any road will do