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Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
Sep 24, 2025
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do.
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Old age is no place for sissies.
Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man.
By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
The tragedy of growing old is not that one is old but that one is young.
Live your life and forget your age.
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
The older I grow, the more I find myself alone.
At 50, don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. Happy 50th birthday.
A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. I reckon, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, it because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.
Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
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