Dirty Movie Quotes

I've found that if you wear a beret, people think you're either a cabdriver or a producer of dirty movies.

Ohh! Wow!! Ohh!! Wow!! Those the only two words you know? Sounds like a dirty movie.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

I started wearing glasses last season but they're only for basketball games and dirty movies.

People always ask me if I hate the nuns. Do I make my movies extra dirty to piss them off? I always say no, that's not the point. To a Catholic, a movie is only dirty if it makes you want to have sex more. If it makes you feel sick, disgusted, ashamed of your own body, then it's not a dirty movie at all. It's a Catholic movie. And I make very Catholic movies.

Actually, with those dirty movies, I find like, they're good for about fifteen, twenty minutes. I'm really interested. And, then, uh, there's one point, that all of a sudden I'm bored. You know? I just lose interest completely and I feel deeply ashamed.

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

I know what you're thinking 'Did he fire six shots or only five?