Funny Oxymoron Quotes

I am not going to say I told you so, but I did.

Any man who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

I never liked you, and I always will.

Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting.

I was always an independent, even when I had partners.

I hate people but I love gatherings.

Tell them to stand closer apart.

The budget was unlimited, but I exceeded it.

I have a terrible memory; I never forget a thing.

We learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five years.

Spare no expense to save money on this one.

Why don't you pair'em up in threes?

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that men never learn anything from history.

The scene is dull. Tell him to put more life into his dying.

Oh, insomnia! Ah, well, I know a good cure for it... Get plenty of sleep.

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

I never said most of the things I said.

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.

Of course a politician's promise isn't worth the paper it's written on.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.