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I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.
Oct 1, 2025
I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.
REFERENDUM, n. A law for submission of proposed legislation to a popular vote to learn the nonsensus of public opinion.
To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.
You can't say 'I don't do politics,' because silence is a political statement.
I've been a politician and so I'm sometimes cynical about what politicians won't do. When I hear a politician say something that makes no sense whatsoever, I think there's one of two things there: There's money or the promise of money.
Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party
I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward.
I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
Congress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
If you want government to intervene domestically, you’re a liberal. If you want government to intervene overseas, you’re a conservative. If you want government to intervene everywhere, you’re a moderate. If you don’t want government to intervene anywhere, you’re an extremist.
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.
Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.
If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.
I see light at the end of the tunnel.
Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.
Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
Did you hear that we're writing Iraq's new Constitution? Why not just give them ours? We're not using it anymore.
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.
A fool and his money are soon elected.
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
If the right to vote were expanded to seven year olds … its policies would most definitely reflect the ‘legitimate concerns’ of children to have ‘adequate’ and ‘equal’ access to ‘free’ french fries, lemonade and videos.
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion!
A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.