Politics Funny Quotes

I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!

I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.

Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

For NASA, space is still a high priority.

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. I'm beginning to believe it.

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

The ballot is stronger than the bullet.

If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

Power is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are, you aren't.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders...tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent.

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.

A politician needs the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

Of the people, by the people, for the people.