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If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.
Sep 24, 2025
You're birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar..... Yung No Mo
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know “why” I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Time and tide wait for no man.
Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
May you live to be 100 and may the last voice you hear be mine.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
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