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Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
Sep 30, 2025
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings... and lawyers.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Marriage: a ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.
My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and halfway closed there after.
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.
In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.