Stupid Liberal Quotes

Seniors love getting junk mail. It's sometimes their only way of communicating or feeling like they're part of the real world.

Don't condemn the gangbangers, they've got guns that are trafficked, that are not enforced, that are straw purchased and they come into places even that have strong gun laws. Why? Because we don't have sensible gun legislation.

There's never been A day in the last four years I've been proud to be his Vice President. Not a single day.

Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.

I do believe that it's the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel. I do believe that it defies physics that World Trade Center tower 7-building 7, which collapsed in on itself-it is impossible for a building to fall the way it fell without explosives being involved. World Trade Center 7. World Trade [Center] 1 and 2 got hit by planes-7, miraculously, the first time in history, steel was melted by fire. It is physically impossible.

Our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes - and I see many of them in the audience here today.

We actually have not required in this law that you carry health insurance.

Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again

I think maybe Rush Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker. But he was just so strung out on Oxycontin he missed his flight. Rush Limbaugh, 'I hope the country fails' - I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? ... He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

I love these members, they get up and say, 'Read the bill ... What good is reading the bill if it's a thousand pages and you don't have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?'

We know that no one person can succeed unless everybody else succeeds.

A zebra does not change its spots.

Don't fear the terrorists. They're mothers and fathers.

Every month that we do not have an economic recovery package 500 million Americans lose their jobs.

The number one job facing the middle class. And it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: Jobs. J-O-B-S.

Get the hell out of Palestine.

There is no terrorist threat. Yes, there have been horrific acts of terrorism and, yes, there will be acts of terrorism again. But that doesn't mean that there's some kind of massive terrorist threat.

It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is.

When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'

I hope his kidneys fail, how about that? He needs a waterboarding, that's what he needs.

Guess what this liberal would be all about? This liberal will be about socializing...uh, um...Would be about, basically, taking over, and the government running all of your companies.

I've now been in 57 states. I think one left to go.

I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.

Plus they think the hurricane's going to hit (starts laughing) New Orleans about the time they start. The timing, at least it appears now, that it'll be there Monday. That just demonstrates God's on our side

Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, 'Thank God, I'm still alive.' But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.

Ten thousand people died, an entire town destroyed.

n case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died - an entire town destroyed.

He [Barack Obama] was light-skinned with no Negro dialect.

I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less.

If a young fella has an option of having a decent career or joining the army to fight in Iraq, you can bet your life that he would not be in Iraq.

If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.

The conventional viewpoint says we need a jobs program and we need to cut welfare. Just the opposite! We need more welfare and fewer jobs.

My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize.

The government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color. The government lied.

The Republican health care plan: don't get sick ... The Republicans have a back up plan in case you do get sick ... This is what the Republicans want you to do. If you get sick America, the Republican health care plan is this: Die quickly!

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And, although, she's... wait... your mom's still... your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.

George Bush doesn't care about black people.

You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.

I'm going to be honest with you - I don't know a lot about Cuba's healthcare system. Is it a government-run system?

If you ban them in the future, the number of these high-capacity magazines is going to decrease dramatically over time because the bullets will have been shot and there won't be any more available.

To understand the workings of American politics, you have to understand this fundamental law: Conservatives think liberals are stupid. Liberals think conservatives are evil.

African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.

I have never had sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. I've never had an affair with her.

The harsh fact of the matter is when you're passing legislation that will cover 300 million American people in different ways, it takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the people.

This war is lost and the surge is not accomplishing anything.

If you call it a riot, it sounds like it was just a bunch of crazy people who went out and did bad things for no reason. I maintain it was somewhat understandable, if not acceptable. So I call it a rebellion.

You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.

I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.

Now, they're saying I groped a male staffer. Yes, I did. Not only did I grope him, I tickled him until he couldn't breathe and four guys jumped on top of me. It was my 50th birthday.