Funniest Friends Quotes

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

When a woman like that whom I've seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.

I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you.

What I know for sure is that if you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal. I know ours is.

When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.

There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other.

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go.

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long.

Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.

Between friends differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo.

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have nonsense respected.

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.