Funny Friend Quotes

Why would anybody want a friend?

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family.

Life is so much friendlier with two.

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone's funny all the time. Doon Mackichan's my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti's the funniest with a monkey.

When a woman like that whom I've seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man.

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.

Be a friend to thyself, and others will be so too.

Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason

My friends, there are no friends.

I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.

It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.

An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him.

Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbour.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

What I know for sure is that if you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal. I know ours is.

Coffee isn't my cup of tea.

If you want a friend in Washington, buy a dog.

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

A friend is a gift you give yourself.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.

I've noticed your hostility towards him... I ought to have guessed you were friends.

There is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn't do for me ... We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I don't believe in things like that - fairies or brownies or magic or anything. It's old-fashioned.' 'Well, we must be jolly old-fashioned then,' said Bessie. 'Because we not only believe in the Faraway Tree and love our funny friends there, but we go to see them too - and we visit the lands at the top of the Tree as well!

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.

However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship.

The antidote for fifty enemies is one friend.

Between friends differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo.

You Too? I thought I was the only one.

Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.

There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.