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For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Sep 30, 2025
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much.
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.
Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know.
Whatever with the past has gone, The best is always yet to come.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down.
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.
The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
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