Golf Ball Quotes

You're the only one in control over your golf ball. It's not like tennis: you're hitting a shot and somebody's hitting it back at you.

Advice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles.

I wouldn't have raced a horse. But you'll then throw back at me that Jesse Owens raced against a horse and he's one of my heroes so I'm not going to say it was a silly stunt. I know too much about horses. They're highly unreliable and they've got brains the size of golf balls.

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a new golf ball.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose

You've just one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you've hit it.

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

Most people play a fair game of golf - if you watch them.

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

Golf is assuredly a mystifying game. It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will. But such is certainly not the case.

I still have a Lydia Ko-signed golf ball in my sock drawer that I'll keep for a while.

Got more dirt than ball. Here we go again.

I'm not a golf player. I think golf and fishing are the same, but at the end of the day, you can't fry up and golf ball and dip it in tartar sauce. So I'm a fisherman.

You look out on the driving range and it looks like snow, but it isn't, it's covered in golf balls.

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks from bad shots - but you have to play the ball where it lies.

Hitting a golf ball and putting have nothing in common. They're two different games. You work all your life to perfect a repeating swing that will get you to the greens, and then you have to try to do something that is totally unrelated. There shouldn't be any cups, just flag sticks. And then the man who hit the most fairways and greens and got closest to the pins would be the tournament winner.

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

The reason I don't play golf is because I was a caddie when I was 13. Women never gave up a golf ball that was lost somewhere in the trees and thicket and down through the poison ivy. It was during one of these searches that I vowed to the Lord above that if I ever earned enough money I would never set foot on a course again.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

The most important shot in golf is the next one.

As if we don't have enough volence on television. After her husband accidentally hit two spectators with golf balls during a celebrity golf tournament.

It is technology. They all changed to a harder golf ball, so they gave up spinning on the greens. They all changed to longer drivers, bigger heads with hotter faces and lighter shafts. The problem is, the harder you hit it, the more control you lose.

The most advanced medical brains in the universe have yet to discover a way for a man to relax himself, and looking at a golf ball is not the cure.

A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.

There's more tension in golf than in boxing because golfers bring it on themselves. It's silly really because it's not as if the golf ball is going to jump up and belt you on the whiskers, is it?

Golf cannot be played in anger, or in any mood of emotiional excess. Half the golf balls struck by amateurs are hit if not in rage surely in bewilderment, or gloom, or in cynicism, or even hysterically - all of those emotional excesses must be contained by the professional. Which is why balance is one of the essential ingredients of golf. Professionals invariably trudge phlegmatically around the course - whatever emotions are seething within - with the grim yet placid and bored look of cowpokes, slack-bodied in their saddles, who have been tending the same herd for two months.

When I swing at a golf ball right, my mind is blank and my body is loose as a goose.

One thing I've learned over time is, if you hit a golf ball into water, it won't float.

In Valdosta, Ga., during a mini-tour event, a player named James Black bet me $20 he could put five golf balls in his mouth and then close his mouth all the way. I tried it but could get only two in there.

I know when I've been playing a lot of golf it takes me a while to get back into cricket again. It's not so much the different shape of the swings, more the fact that you are stationary when you hit a golf ball. In cricket you have to move forward or back, which is an instinctive timing thing.

When I'm swinging well, nobody hits the golf ball any better than I do.

Cyclists, I work with a number of cyclists. They are great athletes; they are great aerobic athletes. If you ask them to hit a baseball or golf ball, they can't do that.

You know, when I was a young boy I used to play baseball in my back yard or in the street with my brothers or the neighborhood kids. We used broken bats and plastic golf balls and played for hours and hours.

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

My doctor asked me how many golf balls I had hit in my career. I'm lying there in bed calculating somewhere between four and five million golf balls I had hit to do that on my body.

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.

Use emotional awareness and pay attention to your body - look [and locate] concrete physical sensations - like stabbing, aching, throbbing - and [distinguish and define them] by saying things like, "it is the size of a golf ball or it is the size of a baseball" - do whatever you can do to find painful physical sensations.

We find things where we look for them, which is why I never look for a golf ball out of bounds.

Al Sharpton chases the spotlight the way Obama chases golf balls

Sometimes in New York, you're walking down the street and you realize there's a girl walking in front of you whose thighs you could hit a golf ball through, and maybe that makes you depressed.

Golf is a game in which one endeavors to control a ball with implements ill adapted for the purpose.